Sad, sad day

For reasons unknown to almost everyone in my life today (the last hour) has been one of the most depressing and sad days I have ever experienced.  I sit still and wonder about the timing of the world and how things transpire and I truly know that God would not put more on me than I could handle and he has proven this to me time and time again.  The information I just received moments ago breaks my heart and I sit here in tears unable to fathom the feelings and emotions of the person who just called.  I am not a person who cries, literally I cry so rarely it is probably unhealthy but I can hardly see my screen right now as I type.  I know that there is a bigger plan and I am only a pawn in this plan but that is a harsh reality for me at this moment.  I want to change the plan, I want to go back in time, I want to fix the things that have happened to get to this point.  Unfortunately I also want to punish those who are unreasonable, and unforgiving so that I can make them understand what their actions are doing to others.  I want to trade places with the person who is hurting right now, I want to make it better and I am unable.  I must only believe that just as God wouldn’t put more on me he would not give this other person more than they could handle either.

I am afraid I will now withdraw even more than before, and shut all my emotions inside.  I do not like the pain, or the fear I feel for this person, and unfortunately there is more to come that will make this the nightmare I am anticipating.  I want to wake up and learn this has all just been a dream but I know I can’t…..


A Wish

Awesome thoughts it is what I dream about as well!!!!

Fantastic Em


I yearn for a place just out of reach,

one where the sun never sets and the ocean speaks.

Troubles wash away whilst the waves crash ashore,

it may be wishful thinking, to hope for a little bit more.

Picture & Poem written by myself. Picture taken in Bathsheba, Barbados.

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Love & Hate

The opposite of love is not hate.  If you hate someone you still have some emotion toward the individual in one aspect or another.  If you can not get past this emotion there is obviously something deeply embedded in your psyche that has a hold on you.  The opposite of love would be to no longer care or INDIFFERENCE.  In order to truly live and be happy one must get past the grudge and have the ability to let it go – PERMANENTLY – let it go.    Remember life is to short to hold a grudge because in the end it is you that is truly impacted.

Opposite of Love

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”  Elie Wiesels